Monday, November 29, 2004

Is it not ok?

Is it not ok to be embarrassed by something that you feel scars your personal life?

I don't know about anyone else, but I can't help but be embarrassed by the fact that I have dated too many people that have ended up being gay. I am not upset about them being gay because that is their choice. But why is it me they choose to date to determine they are gay?

This is the thought that has surrounded me for so long...too long.

Am I so bad to be with or to love that I make them gay? What did I do? Do I emit some kind of gay ray or something.

I would just love for my past to not be the way it is marred by gay ex-boyfriends. But unfortunately, that isn't the case...

Oh and by the way for those who know and care, no Jeff and I didn't break up because he was gay. He is quite the opposite. Not gay at all. And NO we didn't break up either. We are still happily together.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

I know its been a while...

But hey...I have a great excuse this time.

I have been working like an enslaved animal...oh wait. I guess I am one. I do work in retail.

Well I spent last weekend in San Francisco with Heather. We had great times. Sourdough bread bowls and clam chowder and chocolate covered strawberries and salt water taffy. What a weekend. The most beautiful weather I have ever experienced in San Francisco. We went on a bay cruise for 10 bucks and I got to go under the Golden Gate bridge and around Alcatraz. It was really great. I needed the vacation.

Came home after being stuck in the Oakland airport for 4 hours. No thanks to crappy weather in Las Vegas. Sean picked me up at almost 1 am. Bless his heart.

Worked like the slave all week. And I got Turkey day off. I cooked my own little turkey breast and stayed home all day. Hung out a bit with Sean and we had a quiet dinner while watching DVD's. It was a nice day. Quiet...just the way I like it.

So now I am back to work and have to be there in just a bit.

So unfortunately, nothing truly interesting has happened to me. Well...maybe. I sliced my finger open on sourdough bread that I was making stuffing out of. Too bad the irony.

I bought a sourdough turkey. It is a loaf of bread that was shaped like a turkey. I took a picture of it before I mangled it (and cut my finger with the knife I used to mangle it) for my turkey stuffing. So yes, I used the sourdough turkey to stuff my turkey.

I must start coming up with ideas for a gift for my someone special. Too many events coming. Christmas, birthday, anniversary. Oy...I almost hate this time of year.

Oh wait...I work in retail. I do hate this time of year.


Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Prayers are Answered and Times Anew

So I haven't written in a day or so but I have fabulous news. My prayers have been answered!


But it is close to home again. I am going to the store just north of my old one. I start on Thursday. No more commute to Portland and no more paying Oregon state tax.

I work at the new store for one day and then I go to San Francisco. I am so excited. I get to see Hodo and the booties. For a whole weekend! Yay for me!

I worked over 12 hours today. I was toast by midnight but my roommates convinced me to go out. This was the first time I went out and drank with my roommates. (Well ok not quite the first, I had a beer with Adam and Jeremy) We went to a gay bar. A very male gay bar. Besides the gay porn on the TV's it wasn't that bad. It was amateur night and there were guys stripping which wasn't half bad but they were gay so it took most of the pleasure out of it. But my other roommate Sean was there with Adam and Jeremy. He is straight so we "radiated our straightness" together. :-) We all got drunk until the bar closed at 2:30. Then we walked down the street to sober up at a "greasy spoon". It was fun. Jukebox played Fleetwood Mac and all.

All in all, I had a great time. Even though I told Adam that he would never get me out to do anything like that...for some reason I gave in and went. And you know what...I am glad I did. I had a great time and would love to do it all over again.

Besides...I need to "Shake my groove thang" more.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Taco Hell??

Yeah. Just great. So I was at work in hell this afternoon and everything was going pretty well. Then I started to feel kind ooky so I took a break and I felt better. I contributed my crappiness to female things and went about my work. Then I took a lunch. I walked across the street to Taco Bell and ordered my food. But then as soon as I sat down in my little booth it went dark.

I fainted.


Who knows. Anywho. So I came home at 8:30 this evening. And I have been vegetating. I feel ok but I didn't want to take any risks with fainting at work. I figured I would be safe rather than sorry.

On a side roommate is a crazy vacuuming fool. That is my ode to Sean.

I am very excited. I go to San Francisco this weekend to see Hodo. I can't wait. I get to see her and the two snickery booties. (Very cute dogs named Titus and Sage)And I am going to see Jeff on Thursday cause I have the day off so hopefully we will both be healthy for once in a long time. We might actually make up for our date night. That would be nice.

OK. I am done. Going to bed now. Need a good night sleep.

What am I, fly paper for FREAKS??

Alright. So for those who don't know. I am a manager in training (MGT) at Walgreens in the Vancouver/Portland area. I started out at a wonderful store with wonderful people 3 minutes from my house in Vancouver. I really love the job and the people at the Hazel Dell store were awesome.

Then it happened.

I got moved. Even after they told me I wouldn't until after the first of the year.

Instead of a 3 minute commute, I now have a 30 minute commute, WITHOUT TRAFFIC. I am working the night shift which is 3pm to 12:30-1 o'clock AM!!!! It blows worse than...well think dirty.

Not to mention, the store is disgusting. It is filthy, it smells, they can't face the store for shit and all the employees are lazy. Every single one of them. There is a power hungry Asst. manager who is totally in bitch mode and she practically runs the joint with the store manager is gone. Oh oh and here is the kicker. On Tuesday, I am scheduled....SCHEDULED to work from 1:30pm to close (Close means store closes at midnight and I am there for an hour or so after that plus my drive home) WTF DUDE!? I am miserable. And it was only my first day. Everything is upside down and backwards at this store. I have gone from the best store in the district to the bottom of the heap. THIS SUCKS ASS!

I am trying to be positive about this whole thing, I was telling myself that the whole drive over there this afternoon. But OH MY GOD! I...GAHARRRHGH! I want to think that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger...but geeze. I am miserable going to work. I used to love work. It was fun and enjoyable. And now this. I want out but I can't. I just don't want to work at this store. I want to go back to my old store where everyone loved everyone.

So I have had a perfectly crappy day. and it repeats itself tomorrow beginning at 3pm.

I am going to bed...drowning in my sorrows.

Friday, November 12, 2004

Ok ok...I give in

Alright. I am going to make the attempt to keep up with this blog. I know you all want to know what is going on in my busy and hectic life. So I will try. Yes...I said I WILL TRY! Nothing more dang you.

So yeah. Since it took me 4 hours to update this aren't getting a true update. I will get to it eventually.

So there.